Babies are such a nice way to start people—Don Herold
It’s true what they say. Grandmother hormones materialize in much the same way maternal ones do–even 30+ years later. Babies born in one’s own family are the most miraculously perfect creations in the world. Parents [and even grandparents] check out other newborns to confirm this nuance of nature. Gradually it is understood to be a “Universal Truth”. We all simply feel this way.
The good fortune to dust off my pediatric nursing and maternal memories arrived with the birth of our first granddaughter. I reflected on the gift of “presence” my mother gave me after our son and daughter were born. It’s a gift that gives both ways.
First, an [experienced] pair of hands in the early postpartum weeks gives new parents time to focus on the interplay of relationships that are suddenly right there. Baby inside, baby outside. Everything has changed. All three, mother, father and newborn, enter a timeless dance that begins with a new song.
A distinctive aura hovers over first time parents, beginning in their own relationship. Helplessly charmed by the miracle they created, they now exist inside a bubble of enhanced love and new responsibilities. At the same time, bonds between mother and baby, father and baby unfold daily, even hourly. My presence [teaching rigorous burping techniques [!], offering parental napping time, having my own cuddling and singing time] opened a bit of space for these relationships to settle and strengthen in the first month.
The second gift of being present was entirely personal. Watching my first-born baby [now a 34 year old man] tenderly hold, and croon to, his tiny, perfect daughter overwhelmed me with wonder. That “circle of life”, as clichéd as the phrase may be, sideswiped my heart with a flush of love and emotion. I’m all in now.
At night, I mulled over the randomness of dominant and recessive genes forming this beautiful baby’s eye color [murky grey to clearly blue–overnight!], the turned up button of a nose, the rosebud mouth, the one dimpled cheek, and the movable face of so many expressions [skeptical, smiling, hesitant, observant, and sometimes cross-eyed]. Even though it was too early for spontaneous social smiling, we gathered expectantly, eagerly, with each facial movement, hoping to be the first to receive that important human recognition, “I’m happy to know you.”
One day I had a flashback of maternal “déjà vu” when my daughter-in-law said, “I’m overwhelmed by how precious she is to me. I didn’t know I would feel this way.” None of us do. But almost every new mother is eventually overcome by the feelings of her own power to nurture and love her baby. That’s universal too…
I observed parents and babe develop their rhythms–for communicating, comforting, handling, and, of course, feeding. The dance changed by the minute, the hour, and the day. Flexibility is key with babies. But, in less than a week, my daughter-in-law blossomed from tentative new mama to an instinctively confident one. My joy was seeing this unfold.
Newborn nourishment is where everything begins. Breastfeeding rituals gradually establish themselves. Then, suddenly, they fall apart with a day of feeding frenzy or a night of longer sleeping intervals. It is an ebb and flow of constant change in the early weeks.
No less important is the nourishment of parents. Emotional swings as a result of sleep deprivation, new responsibilities, and sweetly swaddled newborn love leave not-so-much-time for meal preparation.
We planned and cooked together as a team. Daughter-in-law, knowledgeable of her protein needs, prepared the meat or fish. Son stepped up to roast veggies on the grill. I offered carbohydrate rich side dishes and green leafy salads.
Leftovers were used creatively for other meals. A big batch of brown rice became the base for protein breakfasts of eggs on rice*. Two eggs cooked over easy then cut up into a bowl of rice with freshly chopped tomato on top nourished mama with easy effort.
*Recipe for “Eggs on Rice” can be found here: Comfort Food for Cal
Grilled eggplant, peppers, onions and mushrooms from the night before became a hearty side dish the next day when combined with whole-wheat penne, sautéed garlic, fresh spinach, and a sprinkle of grated Parmesan.
One night I made an old family favorite, Mujaddarah, a Lebanese lentil and rice casserole. The addition of chopped up bacon made it not purely vegetarian. Still, it was smothered with very slowly sautéed onions that made a delicious caramelized topping. Recipe found here: People Who Pull the Magic Out of You
Extra lentils [the tiny green French kind] became the basis for another day’s cold salad with green onions, carrots, cucumber, parsley, and homemade vinaigrette.
The family food tradition I used every day and wish to pass on to my granddaughter is the simple 1-2-3 of dressing a salad. Any salad, any day, any time. With ingredients found in most kitchens.
So, with arms opened wide to embrace Leila Alisa into our family’s love, care, and nurturance, here is my simple wish:
May you grow up healthy and wise and become an interesting person. And may you always make your salad dressing from scratch.
DEEDEE’s VINAIGRETTE DRESSING
Ingredients: Amounts will vary according to how large the salad, so all are approximations. Taste testing necessary. Stick your finger in and adjust.
- Dijon mustard, if you have some [optional]
- Good quality vinegar of choice [balsamic, wine or champagne]
- Good quality olive oil, extra virgin
- Salt & Pepper
- Dried basil [optional]
- 1 clove garlic, minced or pressed [optional]
- Seed mixture–like sesame, poppy, sunflower, pumpkin, almond, walnut or whatever [optional]
Place a small amount of Dijon in the bottom of a bowl. [¼ to ½ tsp.]
- Measure about 2-3 spoonfuls of vinegar over mustard. Add the garlic, seeds and basil, if using.
- Sprinkle in S&P.
- Then, very slowly, pour in a thin stream of olive oil, blending rapidly with a small spoon. There is no exact amount of oil. You simply taste with your finger and adjust proportions of vinegar to oil, as you prefer. Adjust salt.
- Pour dressing over prepared greens and veggies. Toss together.
- Grind of fresh pepper over all and serve.
Voilà! A lifetime of salads without bottled dressing.
22 thoughts on “Babies and Rice So Very Nice”
A satisfied smile on the second day in this world seems a perfect beginning. Leila Alisa is a beauty to be sure– and it seems all important to be born with a lovely smile and with the first human emotion– happiness. A good way to greet the future. And Wendy, you write like a dream.
Thank you for your sharing your thoughts so beautifully on the arrival of this sweet, new human. What a joy to be able to share in those early days and be part of this beautiful transformation, as individuals became family. Leila is so sweet, especially the “dimpled dream”.
I was thinking about Adam and Anna, as the events of the past week, with the Brexit vote have unfolded and was wondering if they were still in London. Your reply to Louise, answered that.
I always find something to connect with in your writing, but you may have noted that I don’t seem to get around to adding a comment. I often read your blog on my phone and intend to take a better look on the computer, especially to view the photos, but while I’m still pondering a thoughtful reply, a new entry appears! I don’t usually read the comments, but noted comments this time, from Louise Tolbert and Gail Hardie… two of my favorite people at TAS!
I’ve had several friends express similar sentiments, as they welcome a new generation, but you add a wonderful, truly spiritual awareness to this circle of life.
Love to all, Nancy
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Nancy, A very special check-in from you! Thank you for your thoughts about the story. I do know that you are reading new posts when they pop up in your “in-box”. Comments are not required, but I love hearing from my far-away friends. It’s just another way to know we are still on similar wavelengths, and certain to pick up where we left off…
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How nice to see Adam at this age and good to see photos of his wife and sweet baby. Are they still living in London? I am sure you were a huge help and your visit was appreciated. I so appreciate your writing and do not have to edit it which is a real treat! I look at so much dissertation writing and get so tired of being frustrated by the poor writing skills of doctoral students. Reading something you write is a real treat! Thanks, Louise
Louise, You make me laugh! My in-house editor is in Africa right now, so I did this one on my own. I hope he notes your comment, though. Adam and Anna live in California. They left London last September. This has been a big year of changes for them–marriage, new geography and jobs and now Babycakes…
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Congratulations to the lucky grandparents Wendy and Mark! She is beautiful!!